Not dead yet

Readers, please forgive the dearth of posting lately. A bit of a pall has enshrouded the House of Grammarian, and when one's heart isn't in it, what's the point? That's not to say nothing's happened around here lately, or that a few things haven't occurred to me. However, I'm a bit weary for full-on narrative right now. So here are some highlights:

• Last night I dreamt someone gave me a makeover and I ended up looking like a man in drag. Most unsettling.

• I recently underwent a series of haircuts, the first of which was supposed to be a routine trim. Well, ladies, you know how these things go. Apparently "just a trim" in hairstylistese is "please allow me to transform your head into an astonishingly accurate facsimile of my wedding cake." Anyway, the first stylist screwed things up so much, I ended up having to chop it all off. Now it's shorter, and admittedly, somewhat sassier, and I'm not displeased. Two men whose opinions I value have given it the thumbs up (thank you, two men whose opinions I value), and it's still long enough for a ponytail, so there will be no tears. Not on this matter, at any rate.

• My travel companion's team didn't quite win the contest, but I'm still way proud, because his team took a risk, which cannot be said for the MIT wankers who won (and who, for reasons I cannot fathom, my travel companion will not let me murder). Come on, mister. Just think about it. No one will ever have to know.

• Speaking of inflicting bodily harm on strangers, I truly believe people who commit acts like this should be tortured with sandpaper and saltwater.

• People always say it's easy to hunt for a job when you still have a job. I say people are wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Finding a job is never easy, damn it.

• It's sometimes hard to remember to take those things said in frustration, anger and fatigue with a grain of salt. Everyone, or at least most people, deserve a second chance at expressing themselves outside the heat of the moment.

• My innards refuse to cooperate with me. After several weeks of this, I'm exhausted and nearly ready to concede defeat. But I will not. Hear me, innards, you aren't the boss of me. On the bright side, I weigh less than I have in, like, forever (think college or thereabouts). So that's good. Still, I rather miss digestion. And stuff.

• My household suffered a tremendous loss this weekend, a loss almost too painful to recount. You see, my beloved Eureka Boss Plus gave up the ghost. It's sucked up its last piece of lint, it's hunted down its last dust bunny. We've had some good times, o Eureka. I shan't ever forget you.