Please help keep our city clean and stenchless

Dear New Yorkers,

Perhaps you were not aware of this, but some of you don't smell so good. Rock and Roll Grammarian would like to remind you that it's your civic duty to A) bathe and B) apply deodorant before leaving your homes and mingling with others. Failure to do so in a city this densely populated is both disgusting and socially irresponsible.

And fellow Central Park runners, this applies to you, too. I cannot begin to tell you how much some of you reek. Truly the last thing I want to smell when struggling to catch my breath after a long run on a hot and humid day is your unique essence.

Sincerely,
Rock and Roll Grammarian