Things I know about bar games

1) I am unusually good at air hockey.
2) I am an idiot savant.

Yes, readers, tonight I tried my hand again at air hockey, and I'm delighted to report I still have it. Oh yes, I do. My lethal bank shot was a little rusty at first, but by the end of the game it was smokin'! Take that!

But then my very gracious opponent and I played a couple of games of pool. Good lord, do I ever suck at pool. I'm spectacularly bad at it, in fact. You know those giggling young women you sometimes see "accidentally" missing really easy shots when they're playing with men? Yeah, that's me, only it's not remotely "accidental." I am, after all, a fierce competitor and always have been. I'm just really, really bad at pool. Sigh. My opponent, in contrast, is good at pool, and I enjoyed watching him play, even if it did hurt my ego a bit.

Still, I'm holding close my air hockey victory and clinging to the thought that no one can ever take away my title: Unofficial Air Hockey Champion of Lawrence, Kansas, 1997.