I ask this in the name of science

After some consideration, I've decided the aforementioned ritual's soothing properties may arise from a combination of rabid, animalistic gnawing accompanied by the known numbing qualities of alcohol. Controlled studies are needed, of course. I highly encourage the public to try my method and report the results to this site. And for you vegetarians out there, well, there's always meditation.

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Mine, all mine!

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The perfect pair