My eyes

Readers, it is with mixed emotions that I inform you that my doctor thinks she knows what's wrong with my eyes.

I have spared you the details of my nearly year-long ophthalmologic saga, primarily because I've been alternately too busy and too lazy to document them here. In short, my vision has fluctuated rather dramatically, for months I had debilitating vertigo, my eyes are perpetually red, dry and gritty feeling, and now I have no fewer than two sties and one chalazion at the same time. Oh readers, I am so woe.

Because I am addicted to the Internet, and specifically to the wealth of medical information -- factually correct or otherwise -- that it offers, I recently came to the conclusion that I have ocular rosacea. And guess what? I was right!

Ordinarily I love being right (some might say a tad too much), but tempering my satisfaction here is the unfortunate fact that I have to deal with this annoying condition now, lest I go blind.

Dealing with the situation, for now at least, entails the following:

• Antibiotic drops once daily
• Oral antibiotics twice daily
• Twice daily lid scrubs to remove debris from my lid margins
• Hot compresses and lid massages several times a day to unclog the gunky mess in my meibomian glands so it can properly coat mah eyeballz.

Unfortunately, this also means I'll probably have to give up hot coffee and tea, which especially sucks this time of year in New York. Readers, rosacea is robbing me of my last vice, and I'm not happy about it!