Dear Super Dad,

Guess what? I hate you.

This may be difficult for you to understand, but some people on our block have jobs. For many of us, Saturday morning offers a crucial opportunity to catch up on sleep and such. You've robbed us of this opportunity -- again.

Sir, you must get your children under control. They must learn that running down the street screaming at 8:30 a.m. on a weekend is not OK. It's bad enough that you allow them to do so, but the fact that you often join them in running down the street screaming is simply unacceptable.

The fact that you're a "cool dad" who occasionally rides a scooter alongside his kids does not impress me. In fact, it pisses me off. I'm all for being young at heart and free-spirited and all that, but you clearly are keen on people noticing how young at heart and free-spirited you are. You and the 45-year-old mom who stands outside the school on Joralemon with her scooter and guitar case should really get together. Wait -- maybe you ARE together!

Look, I think it's great that you encourage your children to play outside. But TAKE THEM TO THE PARK to do so.

Sincerely,
Rock and Roll Grammarian