'I went to the doctor, and the doctor said ..."

She isn't pleased, ladies and gentlemen.

After deeming me "wheezy," she ordered me to eat a cheeseburger for lunch and then sent me away with prescriptions for an antibiotic and some high-powered cough medicine. The latter contains codeine, and though I was a little afraid to take it tonight, for I got home late and don't relish the idea of being groggy tomorrow, I just swallowed some down. God help me if I sleep through my alarm.

If I'm not "measurably better" (and by the way, how does one measure something like this?) by Monday, she's making me get a chest X-ray. She didn't send me off to get one today because I am "young" and "may want to have children someday." I stifled a laugh. I do appreciate her conservative approach to medicine, however.

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I need to be consistent in how many asterisks I use in these things. I just can't decide what the ideal number is.

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The other day in the park I noticed some plants that look a lot like forsythias. Forsythias bloom early, and they're a vibrant yellow. Sometimes in Oklahoma we'd have late snow. The yellow blooms stood there in the snow, looking like they'd misread the dress code on the invitation.