I need a Hiro

Of all my celebrity crushes, my deepest and truest one right now is Masi Oka. Not only would we have insanely bright children if we married, but I'd also be legally wed to a man -- a hot one, by the way -- whose last name is one letter shy of "Okra," which just happens to be one of my favorite vegetables. Readers, I challenge you to think of a better reason for me and this man to join in holy matrimony and reproduce.

Can't you just see us together?