Why me, God?

I just emerged from the shower to discover I have somewhat of a black eye. (Actually, it looks like just one blood vessel -- one that circles beneath my eye -- is broken or something). Charming.

On what I assure you is an unrelated note, it occurred to me in the shower that I uttered the phrase "Homey don't play that" at least twice this weekend. Sigh. What's to become of me?