Dear Abby
So the other day I was stuck in the bowels of the New York subway system. I needed to get from my apartment to 103rd and Central Park West. For reasons yet undetermined, I boarded the E train. About five minutes into the ride, I realized I was most certainly not headed in the right direction, so I got off at the next stop, road back to the Port Authority and tried to hop on the A train, which apparently wasn't running at the time. SO I had to take the C train. Upon boarding, the conductor kindly informed us that the C train was only running express up to a certain point -- a point way farther north than I needed to go. But, he assured us, the southbound C train was running locally. Frack! This meant I needed to get off at the nearest available stop and head back down to 103rd.
Not to worry, though, for I had a darling old man named Abby to keep me company. Abby spent a full five minutes complaining about the subway system. "Look at this sign!" he demanded, as he uncrumpled the service advisory bulletin he'd ripped from the wall. Abby felt, justifiably so, that the sign was helpful only to those who were traveling to Brooklyn. Then Abby told me all about how wonderful the subways are in Europe, particularly in Rome, where he insisted the floors were paved in the most beautiful marble I'd ever see. "And THIS," he said, gesturing to the missing tiles and general filth that surrounded us. "What do we get? Gum that's been stuck to the ground since 1940!" I tried to cheer him up. "You could look at it as a little piece of history," I offered. Abby, though not convinced, at least almost cracked a smile.
When we finally got on the southbound train, Abby proceeded to ask me all about myself, and I obliged him. Then it was his turn. Abby, who must have been in his mid-70s, was on his way to a date. (He told me this with a funny little glint in his eye.) "It's early in the relationship, so I hate to be late," he sighed. "I hope she'll let me in."
We finally arrived at my stop, at which point I wished Abby good luck on his date. "Thank you, sweetheart," he replied. We shook hands, and then he gave me a little hug! If I ever get stuck in a similar situation, I hope I have another dear little man to talk to.