30 questions

In less than eight hours, people at my paper will begin submitting their acceptances for the buyout offer, and I'm finding myself (even more so than usual) wondering about the future. What will my workplace look like in one month? Six months? One year? I'm impatient to know. I'm impatient in general these days.

I suppose one agitating factor here is my impending 30th birthday, which is less than a month away now. Thirty! When I was younger -- in my teens and even in my early 20's -- I thought the following would be true for me at age 30:

• I'd have at least one advanced degree (or be well on my way to one, or hell, have some idea of what I want to have it in).
• I'd be a homeowner.
• I'd have at least one child.
• I'd be married or something like it.

And here, in the ebbing days of my 20's, I find I've accomplished none of those things. Which isn't to say I've just sat on my ass and accomplished nothing. I do have a solid career and solid friendships, and I'm much better grounded than I was at, say, 25. Furthermore, I've had a great deal of fun and continue to do so with little remorse. And yet, I start to wonder: How many of those goals listed above do I even wish to attain now? How many of them will I attain? What risks am I willing to take to attain them, and when will I do so? What exactly is it that I want, anyway? Argh!

I can't imagine I'm the only one out there with these questions, and that gives me comfort.