Don't care how, I want it NOW

After all of that nonsense yesterday, I open my front door to go to work this afternoon and what do I find? That's right, a big box of pure joy sitting on the doorstep with no note, no nothin'. FedEx doesn't deliver on Sundays, which leaves me with the following theories:

• FedEx delivered it to the wrong apartment, where someone signed for it (and FedEx didn't check the signature to make sure it said my name, or something). Perhaps this person realized his error and tried to deliver it sometime yesterday when I was at work.
• FedEx tried to deliver it to my apartment, but my neighbor feared it might be left exposed to the elements all day and kindly took it into her home for safekeeping (but why no note of explanation?).
• FedEx delivered it and someone did indeed steal it off the porch, only to feel really guilty later and return it without a note. This is probably the least likely theory.

  Anyway, all of that's not important right now. What IS important is that I have a new computer waiting for me to get home and hook it up. Happy, happy day.