Ouch

A guy walks into a Home Depot ...

I feel bad for the guy, but you must admit the story invites snickering. Even The Associated Press couldn't resist having some fun with the lead.

Then I found another story (with another fun lead) that reveals the man was recovering from bypass surgery:

Dougherty, who was recovering from six-way heart bypass surgery, said he thought he was having a heart attack and took three nitroglycerin pills. Eventually, a store employee heard Dougherty calling for help and informed the head clerk via radio. But the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," according to Dougherty's statement.

After about 15 minutes and a second report of Dougherty's situation, store officials called for an ambulance. Boulder County Paramedics and the Louisville Fire Department arrived and unbolted the toilet seat that was still attached to Dougherty.

While wheeling the "frightened and humiliated" man from the store, he passed out, and paramedics could not find a pulse. In their rush to place him on his back, the toilet seat separated from his skin, resulting in abrasions.

Dougherty said he was given cream at the hospital, but that they couldn't do much for his wound. Dougherty said he has since had recurring nightmares in which he is locked in a dark room and can't get out. Lack of sleep eventually sent him into a diabetic coma, he said.

"I was in the hospital for a week," said Dougherty, who continues to take insulin.

Kathryn Gallagher, public relations manager for Home Depot, said she cannot comment on pending litigation.

Poor guy.