Out West
I just got back from a spectacular trip to Colorado. I could easily fill several pages with my experiences if I did so in narrative form, but I'll spare you. So, readers, I give you Colorado by the numbers:
- Airplanes boarded: 4
- Friendly environmental scientists met: 1
- Layovers: 2
- Hangovers: .5
- Dogs fallen in love with: 2
- Cats fallen in love with: 2
- Kickass husbands met at long last: 1
- Hours of sleep: far too few
- Songs brilliantly interpreted by the world's greatest one-woman air band: countless
- New definitions of "aloha" discovered: at least 1
- Creative pronunciations of "Gary" learned: 1
- Scary window displays seen: 1
- Fun hats donned: 2
- Empty burrito wrappers inexplicably left in the fridge: 1
- Online investigations of garments: 1
- Online investigations of one-hit wonders: 1
- Attempts to remember the lyrics to "Buffalo Stance": a few
- Beers consumed through straws: enough for this lifetime
- Cuts on sole of left foot: 1
- Hornet stings on sole of left foot: 1
- Hornets summarily executed by a startlingly efficient Posse of Two: 1
- Elk seen: many
- Muskrats seen: 1
- Oxygen bars visited: 1
- Outbursts of "Broadway" bellowed: several, but not an excessive number, for that never gets old. Never.
- Disappointments: 2
- Public crying episodes triggered by a surprisingly moving book: 3
- Energy drinks consumed: enough to kill a small mammal
- Alcoholic drinks consumed: enough to kill a small mammal
- All-too-vivid descriptions of Joel in a Speedo: 1
- Concerts attended: 1
- Unsatisfying conversations with men I used to date: 1
- Satisfying follow-up conversations with men I used to date: 1
- Car rides spent blubbering about dying alone: 1
- Somersaults turned on a pleasingly vast expanse of carpet: 2, I think, but I can hardly be expected to remember the details
- Minutes spent seriously considering moving to Colorado: several