In dreams

I've been sleeping like a baby lately. Each morning (well, afternoon, but for me it's morning) for the last week or so I've awakened to realize that I've either gotten up only once or twice during the night or slept the entire night through. My fellow insomniacs will understand the happiness and gratitude this stirs in me.

This glorious period of deep slumber has been accompanied by a number of strange and vivid dreams:

• Three nights ago I dreamt that my brother and his wife had a beautiful house near a beautiful lake, and in that house they were harboring an enormous anarchist cockroach -- who was running for Senate. The wretched thing (which had giant wings *shudders*) followed me from room to room, flying about my head -- and sometimes landing on my shoulder -- whispering political rhetoric in my ear. He had a lisp.

• The next night I dreamt that a grizzly bear smothered me with a wool blanket. At first I thought the bear was just trying to be nice. He looked kind enough, and he was gentle as he wrapped me in the warm cloth and tucked it under my feet just so. But then he turned on me. I noticed with alarm that he'd wrapped me up like a burrito, leaving an awful lot of spare cloth at the end near my head. He was drooling as he folded the flap over my face, and I knew that what I'd mistaken for kindness was really an ardent desire to consume me.

• And finally, last night I dreamt of this guy I had an unrequited crush on in high school. He didn't make it to the reunion (in real life or in the dream), but we bumped into each other at a swimming/track meet. He'd become a swimmer, which is a little funny because to my knowledge he didn't even shoot hoops in his driveway when I knew him. Anyway, this wasn't your typical swim meet. This meet required audience participation. Mr. Crush dragged me to the side of the pool, shoved me over the edge and told me to tread water until the event began. The event, it turns out, was competitive rescuing. You know that inverted sidestroke they teach you in lifesaving class? Well, he grabbed me under the armpit and went to it, trying to be the first to haul his "victim" to the end of the pool whilst keeping her head above water. I must say his technique was swift and sure, even though he only came in third place. He pulled me from the water and asked whether I still had my ring. What ring, I wondered? I looked down and saw what I suppose was his class ring (for I never had one) on my right fourth finger, attached to some black string that was tied around my wrist. He was overjoyed to see it, and then he kissed me and whisked me away in his spaceship.

This is just a sample of the wacky dreams I've been having lately. I've also had dreams about A) engaging in hand-to-hand combat with another woman. I bloodied her nose and felt really bad about it. B) sitting in a high school class taught by Ms. Smucker (who was actually a middle school teacher) while trying to fend off a classmate who repeatedly asked me to spoon with him and C) being followed around by a certain indie rock/country star who'd decided to give up music and become a documentarian.

I'm extremely grateful that I haven't dreamt about being chased by a Cylon from Battlestar Galactica or Ben Kingsley from Sexy Beast. Most grateful indeed.