The face that launched a thousand chips

When I got home tonight and changed into my favorite lounging outfit, I discovered on my work shirt several food crumbs. Sadly, this comes as no surprise. No matter how much care I take, I always wind up with snack particles on my person. I'd like someone to invent a food-catching apparatus that doesn't look anything like a bib, perhaps something that loops over one's ears and fits neatly under one's chin. Then I could take the trapped bits and feed them to the birds. When I find my bag of money, I may commission a project of this ilk.

Speaking of bags of money, I think now would be a good time to compile a working list of things I'll do with mine:

1) Buy lots of land and start a no-kill animal shelter.
2) Build a house in the woods.
3) Buy my company and impose a uniform policy or hire a personal shopper so I'll never have to enter a dressing room again.
4) Bring plans for my rubber-related invention to fruition (still no takers on that, by the way).
5) Hire someone to build a crumb-catching device.

Do you know what you'll do with your bag of money?