There can be only one

Your scores in the Girl Scout cookie essay contest have been tabulated, and the winner is ... Christy. This was no easy choice to make, dear readers. All of the entries in this year's contest showed merit. I laughed. I cried. But yours, Christy, took my breath away. Your delightful prose is, shall I say, scrumptrulescent? Expect to receive your box of Thin Mints in 1-3 business days.

We at Rock and Roll Grammarian appreciate your participation, and we hope you'll try again next year.